Salvati Pinguinii de Bucuresti!

Draga Nicusor,

Vine iarna! Stiu ca suna ciudat si surprinzator dar vine.

Bucuresteni in sufragerie - decembrie 2021


Nu imi vine sa cred ca ne-ai promis apa calda in capitala. Ce-a fost in mintea ta?

Acum sa reluam punctual reclama din campanie si de pe site-ul vostru:

  1. "Impreuna construim noul Bucuresti" Din ce retin si ala vechi avea probleme cu apa calda. Deci tu vorbesti acum de ala vechi nou dar de  reparat, sau de ala nou nou, care e atat de nou incat asta vechi ramane al naibii de vechi inca 5 mandate? 
  2.  " O Romania fara hotie" - daca tu conduci primaria, si primaria ne da apa calda, inseamna ca voi ne furati apa calda? Daca nu voi, atunci altcineva ne fura iar voi ar trebui sa stiti, ca d'aia va platim. Daca nu stiti sunteti naivi sau prostuti, daca stiti sunteti hoti. Deci cum e Herr Plicusor?
  3. "Romania e ca o masina cu rezervorul spart" , aici gresesti, Bucurestiul e oras, nu masina, si tevile sunt sparte sau furate. Realizeaza asta si poate mai salvati un pinguin de Bucuresti de la inghet.
  4. "Fara penali in functii publice" - sunt 2 milioane de oameni care considera ca e penal sa nu ai apa calda.
  5. "Combaterea sărăciei energetice"  Apa calda intra la bogatie energetica, noi ne luptam cu saracia. Aici iti dau dreptate, nu face parte din subiect.
  6. " Ne vaccinam si scapam" poate de covid Herr Ban, dar de inghet cum facem, ca nu e loc in toate canalele pentru 2 milioane de cetateni
  7. "România nu mai are nevoie de promisiuni, ci de un plan" Ce fain suna astaaa! E preferat mea! Deci care e planul? Nu ai inca? Iti propune eu, mai jos. Planul:
    • Incalzire prin frecare: Ne vom incalzi toti goi intr-o sala mare prin frecare, cum stie domnul Ciolos. Inclusiv copii ca oricum ii propuneti ca obiecte active la orgii, parade etc.
    • Incalzire prin mutatie genetica: scoateti un nou vaccin, care sa ne dea puf pe piele, ca de rata sau mai ok ca de pinguin. Vedeti sa nu gresiti compozitia sa ne faceti gaini, gaste, ciori, ca la primele vaccinuri.
    • Incalzire cu combustibili solizi, :
      •  un procent de 30% grasime dintr-un politician de 150 de kilograme, inseamna 50 kilograme. Cu 50 de kilograme de grasime incalzesti un imobil o luna...Doar zic, nu dau idei.
      • ardeti gunoaile de pe strazi, fiecare casa ia 1 tona si o arde in living.
    • Faceti un training de mindfullness cu Barna care sa ajunga la toti bucurestenii prin care sa ii convingeti ca -15 grade in apartament e normal , iar de exemplu la Paris lumea se spala doar in lunile calduroase, ca asa sustine madam Clotilde, deci iarna nu e nevoie de apa calda
    • Incalzirea prin adoptie. Fiecare Bucurestean adopta o familie de sobolani sau caini vagabonzi si stau imbratisati in fiecare noaptea. S-ar putea sa mai dispara cate un nou nascut, dar macar e cald.
    • Dusul la siringa pe trotineta. Ca sa economism apa si sa salvam planeta la fiecare trotineta atasati o siringa cu functie de dus. Dai putin pe la zona axiala, inghinala, stii tu, unde simti mancarimi. Clotilde ce zice? E voie cu apa calda pe corp?
    • Dusul la parada de gen. Urofili din toate tarile, uniti-va! Sau era Userofili? O sa verific si revin.


  Pinguinul de Bucale aka Pin Kalorifier,

Comentarii

Trimiteți un comentariu

Postări populare de pe acest blog

Investor Adventure in Romania

Investor Adventure: You choose Romania. Good macro economical indicators, EU country. High Unemployment. You try to buy the land in nice city, a lot of politicians are contacting you asking for a lot of funny things. Cars, money. No, they are not corrupted and yes, you are Santa Claus for them, so bring the gifts! You are amused. However you buy some cars. You plan to recruit your management team in 3 months. Allocated budget X euros/year. You have 20 open management positions and 0.5 candidates. 0.5 because the guy wanted a part time job,with a full payment and luxury company car. In 2 years he expects a private jet for him. He deserves it, because his mother said so.  You hire an headhunter .Finally you recruited all of them. One year passed and your management salary budget is 3 times X. Headhunter delivered. You pay salary proportional commission. You smile again. You bought the land, you start building your plant. Plan 1 year. Budget Y. You cry for the first time since
Citiți mai multe

Incredible mail to a Russian manager (inspired from reality)

Dear SirGay I want to thank you for your fat back and for helping ass. Being here suck a long time with hole of ass, you helped ass improving ourselves. We, hole, are now a much better team thanks to your perfect help, based on your feet back. We are your team, you created ass. We crow sow match thanks to you and we deed this in suck a shot time. I thing that you are are sow proud and hippy wit ass now. We hope to here eachother more oven, or even bather, to meat sometimes. Please , when you return to Russia, promise that you will not forget ass. Regards from hole of ass, a hope to talk to you sun, Ass, Hole, your Team
Citiți mai multe

Politicians’ cost reduction activities to fight the global crisis:

Imagine
a.         Keep only one limousine driver for each politician , not more, not less. b.        Driver will have 0,01 hours/month less overtime. c.         Driver will clean the limousine maximum 1 time/day at a maximum cost of 200 euros, before it was 500 euros/day. d.        The gasoline allowance will be reduced from 100000 euros/month/politician to a maximum allowance equal to the necessary gas for the distance d=10*2*PI*R   (where R is the Earth’s radius). e.        Reduce the limousine champagne quantity , from 2 bottles of Chrystal to 1,89 bottles of Chrystal. f.          Reduce the accommodation cost by eliminating 1 from 3(or more) top models escorts (consultants)/night. g.         Reduce the number of massages with happy ending from 5/week   to maximum 1/day. h.        Reduce the fee/word for public speeches from 400 euro/word to 399 .The grammar errors will be penalized with a maximum value of 0,01 euro/error, but not more than 3 penalizations
Citiți mai multe