Politicians’ cost reduction activities to fight the global crisis:

a.        Keep only one limousine driver for each politician, not more, not less.

b.       Driver will have 0,01 hours/month less overtime.

c.        Driver will clean the limousine maximum 1 time/day at a maximum cost of 200 euros, before it was 500 euros/day.

d.       The gasoline allowance will be reduced from 100000 euros/month/politician to a maximum allowance equal to the necessary gas for the distance d=10*2*PI*R  (where R is the Earth’s radius).

e.       Reduce the limousine champagne quantity, from 2 bottles of Chrystal to 1,89 bottles of Chrystal.

f.         Reduce the accommodation cost by eliminating 1 from 3(or more) top models escorts (consultants)/night.

g.        Reduce the number of massages with happy ending from 5/week  to maximum 1/day.

h.       Reduce the fee/word for public speeches from 400 euro/word to 399.The grammar errors will be penalized with a maximum value of 0,01 euro/error, but not more than 3 penalizations can be applied to one politician’s speech.

i.         Reduce the protocol (manele cash) from 1000 euros/night to 999 euros/night. If Guta is in town the article will be cancelled, applying the article known as: “without number-for the cool guys!”.

j.         If caught by Police driving while totally drunk, each politician must say 2 times “I am sorry, I have immunity”. If he says 2 times “I am sorry, I have immunity” the policemen must let him drive further, if not, he will be penalized with maximum 5 euros. No politician can receive more than 3 penalizations per month.

k.        If caught by the police with human flesh and a scalp on the limousine’s bumper (still totally drunk), the police is oblige to escort him at home and investigate why somebody else drove the car and damage it.

l.         If the politician will smash and kill with a limousine an old lady, on the sidewalk, he will apply the “I am sorry” rule, (see line J).

m.      If the politician will smash and kill with a limousine a complete family on the pedestrian crossing he will pay 5 euro/killed human. However if he wants he can make an appeal to the “I am sorry, I have immunity” rule, to reduce with 50% the cost of penalization. If the family is bigger than 4 members, all extra bodies (> 4) are considered with 0 euro/kill.

n.       Each time when a politician that is missing from the working session, will pay a penalty equal to 0,01 euro. If he misses all sessions in a month, he will pay an additional 1 euro/month.

o.       Each politician can have maximum 99% from his fortune in offshore accounts. The rest must totally visible for the people and media.

p.       Each politician can hire only one wife as consultant. The wife will have the same benefits and bonuses as the politician. Each politician can have as consultants from family members, a maximum percent of 95%.

q.       Each politician’s offspring can take the BAC exam 3 times in one year, simultaneously in 3 different and high schools. The grade cannot be under 9, 999999 in each city. The offspring will choose the high school randomly after he will pay a 0,01/exam.

r.        Each politician has the right to interfere and influence the legal processes maximum 1 time/week, but only when they are close friends with the suspects. For each interference, he will pay 0,01 euro/hour of public speech.

s.       Each investor will pay to the local politician a maximum value of 10% of the total investment, for each child. If the wife is a consultant an additional 25% will be paid to the politician’s family. Not more than 80%(Pareto rule) can be paid by an investor.

By Miz